What has happened

I stopped working at the end of February 2004.

Then I took "terminal" vacation in March.

I retired on the first friday in April.

Since retirement checks arrive on the first of the month, I got no paychecks until May.

Some people wondered why I did that, instead of waiting until the end of April to retire, then collecting the vacation buy-out and getting the first retirement check immediately. Reason: IHTFP.

Every day is now different. I get to go on all of my kid's field trips and band trips and (very soon) show choir trips. I got to teach my son how to drive. I get to day-trade stocks full time. I get to study the Bible. I get to go to forums and seminars at the local colleges. I get to have lunch with my wife more than once a week. I get to do whatever God tells me to do. It's great!

Truth Question

If a man, standing in the forest, speaks...
is he still wrong?

Application Submitted!!!

YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!

I filled out all the paperwork. Bobbie and I went to the Credit Union over lunch and got the signatures witnessed and notarized. I returned to work and copied everything, filled out an envelope, and mailed the package (priority with tracing) to Seal Beach.

A MAJOR MILESTONE!!!

While Bobbie (my wife) and I were at lunch, she asked, "What is the first thing you will do?" Recognizing a trap when I see one, I said that I would clean out the office first, then do income taxes. That seemed to satisfy her. Then she asked if we should buy a second computer. She is nervous about what I will be doing...probably afraid that I will intrude on her space.

Excitement is building!! 17 work days remaining.

Formal Notice to My Supervisor

I finally spent the afternoon filling out the retirement paperwork. I have been avoiding this just like income tax returns. Read lots of complicated instructions, then fill out lots of forms.

I completed the form that notifies my supervisor and the local HR that I will be retiring and taking vacation prior to retirement. I got my supervisor to sign it and mailed it to HR. This is an other milestone. Retirement is becoming real.

Some pending items will delay the actual application until tomorrow:
I have to get two signatures from my wife. One has to be witnessed and one must be notarized. I also have to include a copy of a blank check for the direct deposit, even though I know the ABA and account number very well. I must include a copy of my birth certificate to prove my age. I must also include a copy of my wife's birth certificate and our marriage license, even though she will not be getting rights of survivorship.

18 work days remaining.

25 Workdays Remaining

The clock is really running out quickly now.

My supervisor is suddenly asking for a lot of work to be done ahead. "Prepare a schedule of planning events for the next year." "Prepare an outline for each planning presentation due for the next six months." They are getting nervous about my departure.

I had a zen moment over the weekend. My brother needs some court documents related to our father's estate from Texas. Ordinarily, I would make phone calls to locate the documents and send a check by mail and wait for two weeks. I realized that, if I wanted, I could get in my car and drive from Iowa to Texas, do the business, visit friends, and take my time doing it. WOW! What a new world I am facing!

Retirement Package Arrives!!!

The long-awaited retirement package has arrived. It is about an inch thick and requires that I fill out a lot of paperwork and submit documents, including my wife's birth certificate and our marriage license, even though we will not be selecting a survivorship options.

30 Workdays + 2 Hours

I was just formally cut out of a new task because I will not be around for any follow-on. It is being used as a familiarization exercise by my replacement. This is the first overt example of this.

I am, however, getting hit with a number of last minute analysis tasks. There are a lot of deadlines being set up for just-prior-to-my-departure.

I just briefed my next level director on the output of a consultant report, with my replacement present. They both knew that I had not read the consultant report on which I was briefing them, although I had helped them to prepare input data. I was able to give a coherent briefing, correctly, and to structure the description of the next level briefing (to the VPs) on the fly. It will be years before my replacement can do that.

Futility Is Rising

I had to go in to work yesterday [Saturday] to perform a totally meaningless calculation. Management did not like the trend lines from the last report, since they indicated a possible drop in market share. So...did they recognize that the unfavorable trend was well within the normal range of variation? No. They panicked. Did they try to fix the problem? No.

The decided to change the metric. We were not using the new metric because the "unknowns" are thrown out and they often exceed the number of the items counted. i.e. the expected error range is larger than the absolute value.

Pointy Haired Boss Nirvana!

"Never try to teach a pig to whistle. You waste your time and annoy the pig!"

This is a major factor in retirement decisions.

35 and Counting

People are beginning to react with surprise that I am still here. An amazing number of people are congratulating me on getting out.

A Milestone

I formally requested my retirement papers, via the internal web site. They will snail mail the paperwork within 15 days, along with a formal calculation of the monthly amount. My wife has to sign off on the [non] survivor option, since we will use some of the extra money to buy life insurance.

This really feels good. I have 36 work days remaining.